This is for all the control freaks out there.
We get it, the dating world is quite confusing. Some people just like making it more complicated than it should be, playing games and pretending they are not actually interested.
And I’m going to admit it, I’m a control freak myself. I need to have everything figured out. If people say something to me, I like to keep them accountable. Even if it means I embarrass myself and hold onto them for way too long.
So when I stumbled upon this theory on TikTok, it made my whole approach to dating change in a matter of minutes. Let me introduce you to the “Let Them” Theory.
Mel Robbins is a podcast hoster, well known for her books ‘The 5 Second Rule’ and ‘The High 5 Habit’. Her TikTok account is followed by 1.3 million accounts and recently, she shared her theory on letting go of control.
“Let Them” seems quite simple – you just let the person do what they are doing and fight the urge to react, demand change or act emotionally. It is based on building strong boundaries and attracting people who are actually interested in creating a mindful relationship.
On her TikTok, she said: “So much energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. We spend so much time getting emotionally worked up about things that are beyond our control.
”The truth is if somebody you’re dating is not showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change.”
Ariana Woodson (@sassyarianatiktok) has shared that she focused on herself after stopping to change people on purpose. She is a stay-at-home mum and content creator on TikTok.
Ariana claimed:
“If in a relationship they don’t want to make the effort, they don’t want to see you, they don’t see you as a priority – let them.
“We spend so much of our life trying to force things upon people when it’s already enough work to focus on ourselves.”
Mel has gained herself some praise after publishing the theory. People commenting under her videos shared they love the advice as it made their life easier.
One of the users said: “And this is why I have no friends, because I always just “let them”. Someday I’ll cross paths with the right people. Until then, I’ll enjoy my own company.”
And we couldn’t have said it better. We are all in when it comes to choosing yourself first and being comfortable on your own.
Another user claimed: “I’d rather be alone and happy rather than be with people that make me feel sad.”
Ally Host, another podcast hoster on TikTok with more than 1.6 million followers, named @ally_yost, shared:
“Let them. Just let them fuck up, let them lose you forever. It’s their responsibility not to hurt you and it’s also their responsibility to live with that.”
So the big question is, will you let them?