The infamous phrase “Not my type” is feared by many as it is commonly used to turn down someone in the dating world nowadays.
After all, there are plenty of dating apps at our disposal that allow us to filter by physical appearance and lifestyle. Truth is, being selective has never been easier. Besides, it is not uncommon to gravitate towards a certain “type” of person. Perhaps you are interested in a physical type. A type of person who is taller than you or a curly haired blondie with blue eyes.
Or maybe you are drawn toward a personality type. Someone who is more shy than outgoing or with interests similar to your own.
The repetitive pattern of always going for a “type” of person can be difficult to break. And it isn’t coincidental. Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D. writes for Psychology Today that “We probably end up dating similar kinds of people because we do have a type because we attract a certain type of person, and because we just happen to be in situations where we encounter a certain type of person more frequently,”
That being said, having a “type” can be limiting. The number of people you make yourself available to and who could potentially be right for you, is limited.
Because, what happens when your “type” doesn’t get you anywhere?
Hence why dating enthusiasts are begging you to open your mind to give other people a chance. It might be a good idea to reconsider your preferences on dating apps.
Brian Howie is known as America’s Number One dating enthusiast. He says: “The only rule (to dating) is that there shouldn’t be any rules.
“Do whatever feels right, and comfortable, and empowering to you.”
Yet, he goes on to say that there are possibilities every single day. These possibilities are all around us and we need to learn to recognise, act on, and don’t overlook them.
He adds: “The answers almost always lie outside your comfort zone.
“Get rid of the words “Not my type”, because if you’re still single you have no type, because that type hasn’t been working out for you!”
He goes on to say that the answer may lie with someone who isn’t “your type”. And if you find yourself falling into the same frustrating dating patterns, dating someone who isn’t your typical type might prove to be beneficial.
Having “a type” may even prove to be just a load of rubbish. Because according to a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology from 2020 people who have a type are just “fooling” themselves and they “might as well let strangers pick their dates.”
The study goes on to say that the reason for this is that people seem to be looking for more broad favourable attributes in a love interest, such as “kind” and “intelligent” personalities. And these are attributes that could exist regardless of whether a match falls in line with someone’s type.
There may be some real gems among the ones you pass by. If you find yourself stuck in the same dating patterns, it might be worth broadening your horizon and dating someone who isn’t your type on paper. It may well lead to something new and surprising.
Perhaps try out the new Filet-O-Fish dating theory: