Nobody likes a bellend.
Dating in today’s society isn’t exactly easy. Dating apps make it so easy to become a victim of abuse from anyone we open ourselves up to.
Sex-positive dating app, WeAreX, have launched a brand-new campaign called “Don’t Be A Dick”. It aims to promote respect and responsibility among people who use the internet to find a date, or in the words of the app, save you from “bellendery”.
Another dating app, Bumble, recently campaigned to criminalise cyber flashing. This practice typically involves sending an unsolicited sexual image to people online. The Pew Research Centre found that 47% of females on dating apps aged between 18 and 34 have received an explicit message or image they did not consent to… because everyone wants to see your chopper lads.
This is quite simply spelt out by the campaign…
“We all know that airdropping someone a pic of your peen on the tube is a criminal offence, but what seems less clear to some people is whether you should start a conversation on a dating app with a tastefully lit close-up of your dangler.
“The short answer is, no. The longer answer is, absolutely no fucking way and also do you think that lighting is tasteful…?
“You can’t just assume that because someone is on a dating app that they want to start a conversation by eyeballing your pubey parts – btw, this goes for pussy pics, too. Those are no less offensive than dick pics when sprung as a surprise.”
However, you’ll be as surprised as us to know that WeAreX reckons being a dick is NOT gendered.
Not being an arsehole in dating should be common sense, but evidently, this is not the case. However, if you do feel like you need it spelt out for you, the campaign provides a guide on what behaviours you should conduct to make sure you don’t cross any lines.
The guide starts by talking about consent: “The basic building blocks of consent in any situation are shared understanding, communication, and agreement, and it isn’t just getting a green light: it’s keeping in communication with your partner/s before, during, and after a sexual interaction.
“If you get someone to say yes to sex, or anything, after asking them twelve times or in an increasingly threatening manner, that yes isn’t really a yes, it’s more of a tactic to try to make the whole horrible experience stop.
“Top tip: if someone doesn’t say yes the first time, feel free to just back up and leave them the sweet fuck alone.
“If someone has said that they hate having their feet touched, what are you going to do? Not touch their feet! Amazing – gold star, you’re a consent pro. Don’t make someone explain their boundary, either. It isn’t hot in the moment to have to go through the reason behind some things, not to mention it can trigger traumatic memories.”
One thing is for certain, this generation loves a new word. The United Kingdom leaving the EU: Brexit. Two members of the Royal Family leaving the family: Megxit. Well, what about: Stealthing, Zombie-ing, Breadcrumbing and Negging. These are all relevantly new terms in the dating world, so you’ll be forgiven for not knowing what they mean, but they are all dick-ish behaviours.
Stealthing is a form of sexual assault. When a person tampers with a condom or removes it during sex without the other person consenting to it. Zombie-ing is known as “The levelled-up big boss of ghosting,” where essentially someone who has ghosted you before returns from the dead. Breadcrumbing is not cool. This is where someone returns with a little compliment but has no intentions to meet up. Essentially, it’s a glorified way of stringing someone along. Negging is a vile behaviour involving giving “backhanded compliments”, it’s a fancy way of saying, you’re rude.
WeAreX discusses all these topics in the in their campaign, so really when you look at it, there are so many ways you can fuck it up. So quite simply… DON’T BE A DICK.