“Zombieing” is a new phenomenon in the dating scene that has nothing to do with brain-eating zombies but rather someone rising from the digital dead.
The term “zombieing” gained popularity thanks to TikTok, after user Mariel Darling posted a video explaining this emerging dating sensation.
Picture this: It is your birthday and you’re enjoying the company of your friends at the pub, savouring a pint of your favourite lager.
Your phone goes off. Expecting another heartfelt birthday message from a friend or a family member, you glance over at the screen. To your surprise, it’s a message from the very same person who ghosted you two months ago, extending their well wishes.
Without even acknowledging the fact they ghosted you two months ago, the person expresses genuine curiosity about your well-being. The unexpected outreach leaves you wondering what brought about this change of heart. Did the person experience some kind of awakening?
Alexa Tonic, a personal development coach, says “Characteristic of zombieing is the sudden reappearance on the scene. First you were ghosted without a word and then the person came back.”
The zombie may be one of your exes or just a casual date. You have deleted old photos, erased messages and cleared your social media accounts of any trace of them ever existing.
After a few failed relationships or flings here and there, the zombies who one day unexpectedly disappeared into the night with no warning or explanation all of the sudden like a photo on your Instagram or snapchat asking you how you are doing. You might have moved on, or are in the process of doing so, but it can be hard to resist engaging in their attempt at conversation.
Alexa tells how Tinder and other dating apps, as well as social distancing and lockdown, have made it increasingly popular to “zombie” people.
“In the age of Tinder and co, the inhibition threshold has become much lower to present yourself differently than you are.
“That simplifies a lot.”
As you read their message, a wave of endorphins floods through your body, causing you to entertain the idea that it maybe isn’t such a bad thing that they zombied their way back into your life.
Because, despite the vanishing act potentially being one of their greatest performances, it left you confused and hurt – And you might be wondering why they have decided to reappear in the first place.
“Some do it out of boredom, others do it because they know you are emotionally needy and that you like them.” says Alexa.
Alexa tells how it is important to be aware of these strategies, as she calls the trend a “manipulating” and “narcissistic” way of people to take advantage of others for their own personal gain – and can also have a serious effect on the person being “zombied”.
“I personally would block such a zombie directly on all channels. After all, this is very manipulative behaviour.
“Such people damage your self-esteem if this is not consolidated. It can damage your trust in potential partners in the long run.”
Alexa goes on to say that it is important to be aware of your own worth and that you deserve someone who makes time for you – someone who does not let you down overnight and leaves you unhappily in love.
Check out our article on ghosting here: