The ups and downs of getting the contraceptive coil.
I’ll start this by saying, safe sex is the best sex and protecting yourself from an STI or god forbid an unexpected “bundle of joy” should be your top priority. And this article isn’t to scare you away from protecting yourself. If the coil is for you then it’s for you. Having said that, why the fuck did I get the coil?! I know what you’re thinking, Didn’t you make the choice to get it done? Well yes, but here are the series of mistakes that led up to me getting a piece of plastic violently shot into my womb.
I first decided to get the coil when my implant expired, (This will be the third type of contraception I’ve tried after the pill.) I went to the sexual health clinic to get it simply taken out and a new one inserted.
I wanted to chat with the doctor about my options because my experience with the implant was okay, not great. When I first got it I had no periods which every woman knows is the dream. But over time, towards the time of expiry, my periods not only reappeared but came back with vengeance. They were longer, and stronger than ever before spanning an average of three months of none stop bleeding. Which was not only an inconvenience to my life but cost a lot of fucking money.
Anyway, when I started speaking to the doctor (she was brilliant by the way, long live the NHS), she said that prolonged periods were common towards the end of the implant. When they told me three years prior to this appointment, that I might experience “irregular periods” I didn’t realise that meant I would have three-month periods of none stop bloating, tiredness, unstable emotions, but hey what do I know I don’t have a medical degree.
After explaining to the Doc that I wasn’t sure if that was something I can be bothered to experience again. She recommended the coil. At first, I really wasn’t sure. I mean I had no boyfriend and after a long series of pitiful dates with guys I had met from Hinge, I had gone off men. I couldn’t really see myself getting my “full use” out of it, if you catch my drift. But the Doctor insisted I get it “just in case”, (really overestimating my sex life there). And she said that even though I wasn’t in a relationship right now that the coil would protect me for six years meaning that I would surely be in one at some point during that time.
I don’t think she understands how cold it is out in these streets.
So she gave me a leaflet and sent me a video which, after my experience, I can only describe as propaganda. It had smiling women explaining that the pain went away for them in a day or two and essentially there was nothing to worry about. Now as someone who has a huge aversion to children and is really not planning to have children at any time in my life, a bit of pain isn’t comparable to the crushing fear of falling pregnant. How bad could it be?
I came back in the afternoon, having taken two ibuprofen and two paracetamols- I was told to do this. She first talked me through what would happen, showing me what the coil looked like and explaining that my cervix will be opened in order to access my womb. Which I didn’t think much of. I’d had tests done before, this wasn’t my first rodeo.
When I laid down on the squeaky medical bed the regret started to set in, I thought “I’m not even mildly interested in someone let alone have a boyfriend, and yet I’m here doing this.” There was a nurse in the room and she saw my face
In terms of pain, it was a solid ten out of ten. When the Doctor inserted it I jumped up in pain and shock. Imagine the craziest cramps you’ve ever had whilst a needle is being shot in between your legs. And I would consider my pain tolerance high, I’ve had a lower back tattoo. I would happily do that again a hundred more times than get the coil again.
The Doctor recommended I come back to get my implant taken out, as you’re only protected by the coil after a week. Which made me laugh. You think I’m going to have sex after this? Nothing puts me more in the mood than a piece of plastic painfully inserted inside of me.
So after essentially a whole day revolving around getting my implant changed, I staggered out of there with the implant in my arm and a coil in my womb.
This will be the fifth month with my new companion (lasting longer than most of my relationships) and I can say we’re inseparable. Mostly because I’m terrified of going back and getting it taken out. It hasn’t been “put to work” yet and the pain still comes and goes. And it’s especially painful when I work out, which is every day so basically I’m in constant pain. Which means I’m not that fun to be around. Which means I'm not really fun on dates. Which means it hasn’t been “put to work”. A vicious cycle really.
But seriously I don’t think the coil is for me. But it might be for you! At least you have a more realistic perspective than a smiley woman in a video saying the pain will be gone within a day or two. There are positives about it. If I decide to stick it out it should settle within the next month or two. And I’ll be protected from pregnancy for six years. Which, when you weigh it up is worth it… I guess.
Safe sex is the best sex; take your arse to the clinic.
If it’s your first time visiting the sex clinic then here’s some stuff you should expect:
Step one, you need to make an appointment:
Check if you can do this online at your local clinic otherwise, you might have to ring up. Some offer drop-in clinics, these can be a certain demographic of people e.g. under 18s. So just double-check the day you’ll be able to go.
Step two, going to the clinic:
It can be daunting going for the first time. But don’t be embarrassed, your health is important. The people who refuse to go to the clinic risking people’s health are the ones who should be embarrassed. The nurses and doctors won’t judge you, they’re there to help you. Unless they suspect that you or another young person is at risk of harm, everything you say to them is confidential.
Here are the questions that they may ask:
- when you last had sex
- whether you've had unprotected sex
- whether you have any symptoms
- why you think you might have an infection
Step Three: The test
Once you have spoken with the doctor they should explain what is happening and suggest what test/s and why.
These are the different tests you could take.
- a urine (pee) sample
- a blood sample
- swabs from the urethra (the tube urine comes out of)
- an examination of your genitals
- if you're female, swabs from the vagina, which you can usually do yourself